The Accidental Vegetarian- A man hankering for a cow

When my then 10 year old daughter came home from school and informed us that she had become a vegetarian during lunch period, I thought, Okay, this is just a passing phase, and it will soon join the long tattered list of has- beens, like Thomas the Tank, Beanie Babies, LL Bean Backpacks and Orlando Bloom.

Well, four years later and teen girl is still is a vegetarian, though that is up to interpretation since she hates beans, tofu, tempeh , nuts and most leafy greens. Teen boy says she is really a carbotarian.

And since he recently came out as a vegetarian, he's been keeping a close eye on his sister's vegetable intake. Of course, he says he is merely concerned that she is getting her vitamins, but since they've been squabbling for at least a decade now, I know it's just ammunition. He loves nothing more than to point out her poor eating habits while he is downing giant leaves of Kale, nibbling on sunflower seeds or simmering seitan on the stove.

Teen boy has embraced his new non-meat lifestyle- he's always in the kitchen whipping up all sorts of funky smelling meat alternatives. A few weeks back, he rolled out some home made vegan sausage- the unusual molecules of that particular odor are still adhered to my nasal hairs- I think it may be permanent.

I think if you are going to go vegetarian, why bother making vegetarian sausage? Vegetarian sausage is like calling someone a liberal conservative- it just doesn't make sense. Just ask my meat loving husband, whose consumption of cattle has whithered in the last few months to a few crumbs of burger here and there. Dreams of burgers ,steaks and rib now teasingly dance through his nocturnal landscape because of instead of cooking two separate meals, I've thrown out the meat, and have been going nearly vegetarian.

This has been a tough transition for the old guy who could happily have a hunk of beef on his plate- and nothing else. He'll chew through cartilage, veins, sinew- all without missing a beat- but spits out stalks of vegetables and hides them under his plate.

I'm all for eating healthy and reducing our meat consumption...but sometimes only a steak will satisfy that primal red meat flesh tearing urge that has followed us for millions of years, from the woolly mammoth to the wild turkey. I can't think of many times I openly salivated for a slab of tofu or a head of Romaine. And never can my husband.

When I asked the meat deprived husband if he would be coming in for dinner this evening, he replied, "Only if there is a side of a cow on my plate."

So tonight, I'm whipping up two meals- a roast chicken for the hubby and tuscan kale soup for Teen boy. Teen girl, the one who brought vegetarism into our family, says she'll just have mashed potatoes.